My last post talked about getting the braces. And this post is all about regained confidence, self evaluation and a whole lot of retrospective analysis. My braces came off, after what felt like eternity. The feeling of being brace-less is, mildly put weird. My tongue has been enamored with my teeth day and night. Wearing retainers does not help either. Now after every meal, I dont have to make a bee line for the restroom, lest a piece of food was adamant to remain between by braces. It feels good. It feels really good. Among all things, the past two years have taught me to be resolute in my determination to not let the braces dictate how I am around others. It wasnt easy, it took some getting used to. But I realized I wasnt smiling as much, talking as much. As much my beloved would love to not have me yap at him all the time, he too noticed that I had significantly quietened down. Now that wasnt me. I had to change or rather revert back to being myself. With the loss of 10 perfectly good teeth, appliances stuck on the braces and the braces itself, I resolved to smile,and laugh and just try to be me. And I was surprised, it wasnt all that hard. My gaping toothless grins at times were comical, and at times were topics of discussion among my friends and peers. Initially I was so dog-on conscious about not having a few tooth, i would get nervous. People would directly stare at my braces when talking to me, and not look directly in my eyes. That bothered me. As time passed, I accepted things as they were. Photos became by biggest challenges. In some I would just smile and be me and in some, I would stifle it hard. What I noticed made me realize, I was my biggest critic. If I couldnt be happy being myself, how can I expect anyone else to not notice how uncomfortable I am? Having endured pain close to child birth during some of the procedures, I wanted to make it all worth it and that is when I decided, I am not ashamed. I am actually proud that I have the courage to do what I did. I started to believe back in myself, and I started to realize, my friends and family, loved me just the way I was, braces or not. That certainly helped me cross some of the most troubled parts of this journey,not to mention, some mean comments from people on the way as well. Above all, I learned that my success will be evaluated the same way as I evaluate it. It was not just in the eyes of the beholder, its in my eyes too, as to how I see myself. The moment my confidence returned, I was no more ruled by my braces, but they began to fade into something that was, well, just for the time being. Now that they are gone, I don't miss them, but I certainly know, not to judge myself so hard that I fall in my own eyes. Change is but natural, forced changes are just a part of the plan as well.